Catatan Masa Lalu

Ku coba yakinkan diriku akanmu
Dengan menepis semua keburaman
Mereka-reka, meraba-raba dan menduga-duga
'Tuk hibur kegundahan hati

Tapi entah hingga kapankah aku harus begini?
Hingga kapankah aku harus berdiri seperti ini
Menghibur diri dengan rekaan belaka
Menenangkan diri dengan keindahan rancu

Sepertinya ...
Rekaanku sudah terlalu jauh,
Dugaanku sudah tidak murni seperti dululagi
Rabaankupun sudah semakin hilang rasa
Kenyataan sekarang hanya ku tutupi dengan cerita lalu

Karena `ku sulit tuk terima kenyataan
Bahwa cintaku hanya bertepuk sebelah tangan
Tapi ada sedikit rasa tenang yang tetap menghiburku
Bahwa kau sudah menemukan penggantiku yang dapat menjagamu setiap saat di dunia real mu.

Toh sebetulnya, hanya itu yang aku khawatirkan tentangmu.
Ku khawatirkan bila tak ada yang menjaga dan memberikanmu kasih sayang di dunia realmu. Aku jauh disini tak mungkin memberikan sentuhan kasih sayang yang nyata, dan aku tau ... bahwa kau sebetulnya butuh itu.

Mungkin memang inilah akhir dari kisahku, anganku tlah terhembus angin menuju sebuah kenyataan dan penantian yang tak berujung, tapi harus aku akhiri, walaupun aku harus tetap berdiri disini tak beranjak.

When you love someone,
draw a circle around their name instead of a heart
because hearts can be broken but circle never end.

-In the middle drawing a circle of your face (RbG)-

Can't explain, how can he affect me .....

still can't .... how can i explain this?

-Still in class-

Trough my Journey ...

Two tear drops were floating down the river.
One teardrops said to other, "I'm the teardrop of a girl who loved a man and lost him, who are you?"
"... I'm the teardrop of the man who regret letting a girl go ..." Never let regret from part of your life.

You'll know that you miss someone very much when every time you think of that person,
your heart breaks into pieces and just a quick "Hello" from that person can bring the broken pieces back.

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone
an hour to like someone
and a day to fall in love with some one
but it takes a lifetime to really forget someone you have grown to love

-CherO ................ miss you so much, but I don't want to disturb your happiness"

Very often when we met someone, he or she belongs to someone else.
It's so funny how we set qualifications for the right person to love,
while at the back of our minds we know that the person we truly love will always be an exception

There would come a time when we have to stop loving someone
not because that person started hating use
but because we found out that they'd be happier if we let them go.

You will know when you really love someone when you want him to be happy
even if their happiness means you are not a part of it.

If someone comes into your life and becomes a part of you
but for some reasons he couldn't stay,
don't cry to much ... just be glad that your paths crossed
and somehow he made you happy even for a while.

There are some things that we never want to let go of ...
people we never want to leave behind;
but keep in mind that letting go is not the end of the world,
but rahter it is the beginning of a new life.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you love him or her to
doesn't mean they don't love you with all he or she have
Remember that the best relationship is
when your love each other is greater than your need for each other

-I let him go, but my heart won't go-

CherO, Ku kan kembali ...
Ku tak hilang dalam hidupmu
Ku masih disini berdiri menatapmu
menyusuri beku menatap mataharimu

Ku kan kembali
Tuk menemui mu suatu hari kelak
Bila kelak kau sudah berdua dengan mentarimu
Kelak, ku pun hanya kan antarkan juangku

Tak perlu kau risau atau gundah
Tak kan ku renggut mataharimu
Tak kan ku sebar racun dalam konsumsimu
Ku hanya ingin berkata dan bertatap

Tuk terakhir kalinya ...
Dalam sosokmu tak kan pernah memudar
Walau sayat yang tlah hujamkan di dadaku
Biarlah semua itu menjadi sebuah cerita

Dan bila ada yang menertawakanku
Atau pun bila kau menertawakanku
Biarlah tawa itu terlelah dengan waktu
Karena ku tak merasa diriku sandirwara tawa

-Sitting alone with my journey through 3dMax-

haruskah ku tersenyum
tuk apa yang sekarang ku dapat
ataukah ku harus bersedih
tuk apa yang kini tlah hilang

tertekan dalam maya
terbebas dalam semu
tertatih jauh tak tereka
Mencerca lelah pudar dalam tanya

Tersenyum dan tersedih
Tak kan pernah bersua
Walau separuh lesu tak tertahan
Ku masih berdiri tak beranjak

Disini, tempat yang sama
Hari dimana kau memudar
Tak ku hirau semua tawa dan rayu
Karena pudaran mayamu adalah abadi untuku

-Hope u understand me someday, CherO- (Better late than never)

Ingin ku sebut satu nama
Tapi entah nama siapa

Ingin kurindu satu sosok
Tapi entah sosok siapa

Semua yang ada di depan mata
sungguh membingungkan

Waktu yang ku lewati
sungguh mengiring tanya

Kini yang ku tahu
Kurindu seseorang ...

Tapi entah siapa?

-midnight-

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh ....
Ku bernyanyi dalam hati

uuuuuuuuuuuuuu ....
Ku meringis dalam sembunyi

haaaaaaaaaaaaa ...
Ku merintih dalam dada

nggggggggggggg ...
Dentingan suara alam yang masih terngiang

CherO ..................
Hanya itu kata yang dapat terlontar

-CherO ....... hope u find-

Entah siapa yang harus kurindu
Dikala kerinduan ini menggerogoti lamunanku,

Ketika ku ingin berangan dalam bermimpi
Entah sosok siapa yang ku tunggu dalam sisa mimpiku

Tetapi ketika semua ini ku satukan dalam sunyi sepi
Ku sebut semangat hidup dalam sendiri meneruskan cita

Dan jikalau semua itu terwujud ...
Itulah yang kita sebut degnan "Keajaiban alam"

-Di pagi buta-

Have you ever walking in your dream?
I did
Have you ever talking in your dream?
I did
Have your dream ever come true?
You did?
It's called a magic of dream in such creativities

-Sitting alone after Robby's class-

Touch my heart and I'll touch yours
With a gentle word or two,
For kindness bears the sweetest fruit
That makes our dreams come true.
Touch my life with tenderness
And fill my cup with love.
Share my dreams as I share yours
Beyond the stars above.
Take my hand as I grow old
And lead me when I'm blind.
Show me that you really care
Good Friends are hard to find.
Touch my heart and I'll touch yours
A little more each day
And then we both find happiness
Somewhere along the way.

-Shall We?-

I use to think I'd get over you,
that my lonesome times were thorugh
but honest to God you know
I never thought I'd be missing you the way I do
how could I make up all the lovely things I fell
Looking at a picture in the dark
but it's too late and it don't matter anyway
but I loved you from the start

-For My Beloved CherO-

Love can bring the rain
That makes you yearn to the sky
Only love can bring the rain
That falls like tears from on high

Love, reign over me
Rain on me,

On the dry and dusty road
The nights we spend apart alone
I need to get back home to cool, cool rain
I can't sleep and I lay and I think
The nights are hot and black as ink

Now it ain't no fun
And the good's gone now
We used to love as one
But we have forgotten now

I know when I've had enough
When I think your love is rough

It's gone forever

Ku tambatkan hati ini padamu
Tanpa ada rasa ragu
Dan merekapun mulai belagu
dengan mentertawakanku

Kini mereka semakin menjadi
Saat kau berlalu pergi
Tinggalkanku dalam diri
Di tengah tawa yang semakin jadi

Aku tahu rasa ini
Tanpa pernah kuingkari
Mencintaimu dengan murni
Walau kau telah pergi

-Mengenang 3 bulan perpisahan kita-